After kicking off its 49th season last week with a heartfelt statement from host Pete Davidson about the tragic events unfolding in Israel, Saturday Night Live was back to its more standard cold open this week with a sketch that took aim at—what else—Jim Jordan’s (Mikey Day) disastrous (and now abandoned) attempt to fill the House Speaker chair vacated by the ousted Kevin McCarthy.
“All I want to do is get Congress back to work so I can shut it down again,” an unhinged Jordan explained. Fortunately, a handful of his fellow Republicans let him know they were rooting for him to get it done, too. First was George Santos (Bowen Yang), who stopped by a random baby cradled in his arms. When Jordan asked why he has a baby, Santos admitted that even he doesn’t know (then asks for it to be sent away in an Uber).
Lauren Boebert (Chloe Fineman) called to console Jordan next, and assured him that, “Things are going exactly as planned. Just keep running for Speaker, and even if you don’t win, great. The government shuts down and we blow this whole thing up!” Boebert’s call was a short one as she was at a theater watching a production of Aladdin and otherwise engaged.
But it was Donald Trump (James Austin Johnson) who gave Jordan the frank talking-to he needed. “Yoo hoo—is this the Loser’s Office?” the former president asked by way of hello. For his part, Jordan was glad to see Trump, who was very vocal about his support for Jordan as Speaker… until the votes started coming in.
Trump explained his disappearing act was because “I prefer the Jordans who win, okay? Like the great Michael Jordan. Or the even greater Jordin Sparks.”
Trump went on to explain that he actually does not like Jordan, and that a big part of that “is the lack of a jacket,” adding, “You don’t look good. You look like the night manager at a two-star steakhouse.”
Jordan claimed he did everything Trump would have done to get the votes: “Intimidation, threats. Why didn’t it work?” Simple, according to Trump: “You’re not me. You’re no fun, I’m hilarious… You’re little Jim Jordan, I’m Donald Trump. I’m Coke, you’re Shasta.”
Jordan is now officially out as the GOP’s pitch for House Speaker.